Then I Was Clean

"Hey, baptize my mind
Hey, baptize my eyes
Hey, baptize my mind
For these seeds to give birth to life
First it must die"
                                              ~Jon Foreman

~Then I Was Clean~

Baptize me Oh Lord.

Baptize my mind, body, and soul.

Fire come down and burn my flesh.

Come down and dwell in me.

Baptize my being and my hopes will conform to you.

There needs to be a moment when I choose.

Where I choose to believe and put my hope in the afterlife and not this world. 

Baptize me Oh Lord, for your good, for your calling.

There needs to be a sense that boils over.

A fire that we become when you are around.

To be baptized by fire, and water.

Burn away the chaff and then wash it away.

Baptize me Oh Lord.

Baptize my mind, body, and soul.

Fire come down and burn my flesh.

Come down and dwell in me.

Become my world and let me be part of your life.

Become my world and let me be part of the other side. 

Become my world and let me be part of the bigger picture. 

Become my world and baptize me Oh Lord, my God.

Metal Fields

"Maybe I could wash clean
Yeah maybe I could wash clean ."
                                 ~Switchfoot

~Metal Fields~

Metal fields producing steel flowers.

Cold and beautiful, or hot and bright. 

Metal fields plowed by flesh.

Clawing and working by the means of a soul.

The metal grows and covers.

The fields produce fruit stronger than any before.

The workers tortured and flowers grow.

They think they have nothing left in their souls.

They have nothing left to leave.

Nothing left to give.

Nothing left to hurt.

Nothing left to love. 

They have no more than the metal man.

Neither hot or cold, but lukewarm in their hearts.

Metal fields ran by the metal man.

Cold and beautiful, or hot and bright. 

Metal fields fueled by smoldering heat.

Burning and searing by the means of the hot and cold.

Why not break free?

The metal heart stabbed by a thorn. 

Then turning back into flesh. 

This is the way.

Who will rise up?

There are metal fields across the land. 

With steel flowers grown by idle and trembling hands. 

The workers struggle while the metal man sleeps in his metal bed. 

Who will rise up?

Who will take the thorn?

Who will change the world one day at a time.

Metal fields producing steel flowers.

Cold and beautiful, or hot and bright. 

Metal fields plowed by flesh.

Clawing and working by the means of a soul.

What is left of that soul?

What is left to give?

In Death There can be Life

"All along I thought I was learning how to take

How to bend not how to break

How to live not how to cry

But really I've been learning how to die

I've been learning how to die"

                                                                     ~Jon Foreman

~In Death There Can be Life~

Worthy of all things that I do not deserve.
Blessed to be more than what I see for myself.
God is the One who is worthy of praise.
For He is the Lord that is stronger than the addictions of this world.

Break me oh God.
You are the fire that burns my strife.
Break me oh God.
You are the truth that punishes me for love. 

Worthy of all things that He says I should have.
Blessed to be more than this world has to offer.
God is the One who is worthy of glory.
For He is the Lord that is stronger than the pride of this world.

Break me oh God.
You are the fire that burns my soul.
Break me oh God.
You are the truth that disciplines my doubt.

In death there can be life.
In pain you can grow.
In life there can be death.
And in my life I want all three.
Burn me, break me, save me.
For you have more than this world has to offer.
Amen.

Emotion is Fine, but I Will Not Rely

~Emotion is Fine, but I Will Not Rely~

Sort it out on your sleeve.
Press on and die.
Patience and waiting.
Emotion means nothing without ones sleeve.

Take one step and do not look back.
Mind like a child innocent, and loud.
Take one step forward and do not look back.
Your sleeve will come with you, emotion soft and quiet.

Sort it out on your sleeve.
Press on and die.
Better to be yourself with emotion than a fake with it all.
Emotion is but one way to be who you are.

One, two, three let me be me.
Four, five, six walk in the wood's where the sticks will click.
Seven, eight, nine emotions are mostly fickle and that can be fine.

For...

I will sort it out on my sleeve.
I will press on and die being me.
I will have patience and wait while I pray.
I will be emotional but will not lean on me.

Press on and die.
Be true to yourself.
And believe what you believe.
For oneself can be it all, even when you fall.

Contrast and Understanding

  “Sometimes it takes a good fall to really know where you stand”

                                                                      ~ Hayley Williams

~Contrast and Understanding~

I fall down and then I fall down even deeper.

Slanted and deceptive, a snake creeping and slithering to the end.

I fall down and fall again.

Covered by the crowd and what they believe is true.

They tell me jump to the left.

But I feel like jumping to the right.

I fall down and then I fall down even deeper.

Ignoring the righteous and hurting the lamb.

I fall down and fall again.

Engulfed by the waves and hurling towards the deep.

They tell me to take the bait.

But I feel like taking my crown.

Contrast and understanding.

Black and white.

Slipping to the left, slipping to the right.

I fall down and the take my crown.

As I drown a hand comes.

As I am covered a hand reaches.

Why is it that sometimes I do not grasp on?

I fall down and then I fall even deeper.

If I grab the savior I will rise back up.

But then so many times I fall down and fall again.

Past My Soul

"I have long stopped asking why the mad do mad things."
~Constance(AHS)


~Past My Soul~

Sometimes I look at my life and wonder where do I belong?
I look past the narrow and take heart that I am not running alongside the broad.
Sometimes I look at the paths I have chosen and think, "Is it a path at all?"
Feeling insecure and thinking of a fold out map, feeling secure and reading my GPS.

Sometimes it looks as though it hurts to set aside dreams.
Sometimes it looks as though it feels good to take on struggles.

Love makes me reevaluate my life.
Love takes chances on me that I would not take on myself.
Love takes me and breaks me and makes me whole again.

Sometimes I look at my life and wonder where do I belong?
I look past my soul to find what more there is to learn.
Sometimes I look at more than what meets the eye.
Transforming my attitudes into actions suited for a better man than me.

How Deep and How Wide is Love?

"Did you know this house is falling apart, what can I say this house is falling apart? We got no money, but e got heart. We're going to rattle this ghost town!"

 ~Walk the Moon


~How Deep and How Wide is Love?~


The gap is closing.
The opportunity is falling all around me.
My chance at redemption is slipping through my fingers.
My courage is wavering and my resolve is weakening.

"Today is my day." I said.
Then the day came and the day went.
I was told to go, to jump, and to land.
I was told I could move a mountain.

"This week is my week." I said.
Then the week came and the week went.
I told myself that I would make up for not seizing the other day.
I told myself I could do it my way.

I was thinking that my strength was enough.
I was thinking that by my hands I could be healed.
I was thinking I would rely in myself with skyscraper faith..
I was thinking about doing something better.

The gap closed.
The opportunity fell around me.
My chance at redemption slipped through my fingers.
My courage wavered and my resolve died.

Perspective and reliance comes from hindsight.
Looking back and seeing the failures of a child.
Looking back and remembering how I came into being in the first place.
Perspective is a mirror that can see what should have been.
How deep and how wide is the love?
I should of found out.