A Crack in the Foundation

"Sooner or later you'll find out there's a hole in the wall. Sooner or later you'll find out that you'll dream to be that small." ~ Switchfoot

~ A Crack in the Foundation ~

In the past there is a suspicious space between the wall and the door.

A crack that appears to be broken, more so than it should.

Splintering and weaving, creating more lines than healing.

This space is all you had left before you hit the floor.

Under the blood shot eyes of lovers dreams.

Through the dark places of family screams.

Into the depths of friendships in toil. 

There lies a hope, that could fix this scene.

Ripping and tearing and become more than what it once was.

An increase of space in between the lines.

What is more sad than a foundation beginning to die?

What is more sad than hope that feels so far away?

Together and alone.

Crowds of people yet morose.

Hands falling on hands.

And lips being used to kiss and betray.

Our lives are but one tale.

All woven and created.

A canvas being created for more than this life.

And in the cracks there is a way to repair what has been lost.

Do not overthrow your lover.

Do not seek out hate against your brother.

Do not try and one up the other.

For love is what will bind, not this scalpel coming down.

Stitch it up and forgive to get better.

Love more than self to show you can love one another.

For the bloodshot eyes need not apply.

When it comes to those who are on or have crossed your eye.

Let your present be more than that of your past.

Do not be defined by what you did but by what you do.

Hello sweet melodies of love and daring.

Goodbye to the curse that parries all of your caring.

What is This Knocking?

"We won't stand for a facade."
                               ~Say Anything

~What is This Knocking?~

My door is closed.

I have no intention to open this door.

Shut to the outsider,

Shut to the people around me.

Friends that try, fail.

Lovers who try, don't make it to the door.

I have been burned before.

I have felt the sting that comes with friendship.

Surface level friendship is not friendship at all.

The real me longing for more than a smile and a hello.

Craving love more than food.

And hoping that one day I will open the door.

What is this knocking?

Who made it this far?

It continues.

It perseveres.

My door is closed.

And I have made myself alone.

Trying to love.

Trying for more.

A shut door is not a policy that works at all.

The real me has no chance to be, if I do not say hello to love.

Craving love more than this world.

And hoping for hope to open the door.

I am alone.

I am...

Where is the I Am...?

I am retreating back.

Beyond the darkness...I am.

There it is again.

That knock.

Again...again...

Should I go...go and maybe not be alone?

For surface level friendship is not friendship at all.

A shut door is not a policy that works at all.

Craving the I Am...and knowing that the knocking is from Love.

Hand on the knob...a creak...a light...

Hello...

When We Grow, it Happens Fast and Slow

"If we only got one try, if we we've only got one life, if time was never on our side, well before I die I wanna burn out bright."           ~Switchfoot

~ When we Grow, it Happens Fast and Slow ~

Winter has ended and spring has arrived.

The ice in our hearts is melting away.

The storms of life are turning from snow to rain.

And our spirit is in its prime to grow. 

Actions define who we are.

Bitter, joyful, angry, humble.

How we react to situations shows others who we are.

And who are you, and who am I?

In thee seasons we are growing.

If God is in our lives, we will have to grow.

Sometimes it is fast.

Other times it is slow.

Are we becoming what we are meant to be?

Will we bless people who come our way?

Or do they shy away from what we have to say?

Are our branches inviting in those who wish to believe?

When we come into contact with others,

When we are by ourselves,

We have the opportunity to get closer to God.

To grow and get stronger in Love.

Today is today.

Tomorrow is too late.

Action takes the now.

And tomorrow won't be fast enough.

God save me from myself.

Save me from my disbelief.

Help me to begin today.

God save me from me.

Time will not be on your side.

Time always moves forward.

To trust in Love in the now.

To be what you were meant to be.

God I pray, take all my errors.

God I pray, do a work in me.

Love I pray, engulf me in your life giving light.

To grow in the season you have set before me.

And when the inevitable winter comes.

Help me through those days as well.

To continue to trust in you.

As I wait, learn, and pray for spring to come back my way. 

You Have Legs...Use Them

"I Will Not Pretend That We Are All Friends, When All Of Us Know That We'Re Not. And I Am Afraid Of Pulling My Name, Away From The Places I Know I'Ve Been On This Slow Down Descent."                                                                                                                                      ～ Deas Vail

~ Have Legs ... Use Them ~     

In moments like these I hope too much.

I dream up responses that let go of, instead of holding on.

The hope does not seem to be as real as it once was.

This is where my faith needs to take over and show me how to believe.

Targeting the balance of the left and the right.

Taking up arms against the heart.

And taking shots at the mind.

Duck and cover for this world is gonna blow.

It will rise up in flame.

It will enter into the line that was never supposed to be crossed.

A little further down the road.

A little to close to Hell.

In moments like these, I wish to much.

I see the stars and remember not all of them are real.

I hope, hope decides that it will manifest out of me.

Even when I need to reach deep down inside while I flee.

The shot is lined up after I moved from the right to the left.

Finger on the trigger.

The pulse is the beat.

Duck and cover for this world is gonna blow.

Enter in and enter out.

Move your butt to a better place.

Enter in enter out.

Regret does nothing but get in the way.

String along brilliant acts.

Get together and breathe in more than contrition.

Break down the fence that is holding you back.

Take the shot and bring yourself to a place of happiness.

In moments like these I am a kid that knows his place.

In moments like these this Hell transforms into something worthwhile.

While the hope secures faith.

And the faith depends on how much I wish to represent my belief.

Doubt equals a soul who chose it over believing.

Two sides of the same coin. 

Both used for target practice.

Duck and cover for this world is going to blow.

Erase it and move on.

Learn and travel further.

Hope for the faith that is inside all. 

For it is better to live than to stand still.

You have legs ... Use them. 

What Voice is it?

On the final day I die, I want to hold my head up high. I want to tell You that I tried to live it like a song. And when I reach the other side, I want to look you in the eye and know I have arrived in a world where I belong. ~ Switchfoot

~ What Voice is it? ~

All in all it is a place where you wonder if what you heard is from the right source.

A dissonance between what you think is going on and the guilt flooding your chest.

A string strikes tomorrow while you hear it today.

The drum bellows and is lingering while the soul tries to figure out what to do next.

Is it okay to limit what is spoken to you if you are unsure if the source is pure?

Is it right to determine a factor based on self, rather than relying on something that may be untrue?

Clarity is what I seek.

And clarity is what I will find one day.

If I am thinking this hard about the voice, then maybe it was from the correct place?

But I thought it would be a still quiet voice?

This was loud.

This was something I have experienced before and it ended up to be right.

But the other time it was wrong.

Here lies the confusion of the music.

To live it like a song is harder than you think.

When the music comes from multiple genres.

A rock and roll kind of day.

Mixed with a classical peace throughout the night.

But other times that peace is only when I am near others.

And the night becomes a heavy metal link to my brain and my heart. 

Taking a chance and distinguishing the flames that have occurred in the studio.

Hoping to be able to lean on others to incorporate more sounds into my song.

I will carry on the beat.

And I need another to help with the rhythm.

Music equals the melody of the soul.

Music is an instrument of the voice.

But what voice am I hearing?

And if I ignore it with something this small, will I be alright? 

Tomorrow Gets Me Through the Past

"They left us alone, the kids in the dark to burn out forever, or light up a spark. We come together state of the art. We'll never surrender, the kids in the dark. So let the world sing, 'What a shame beautiful scars on critical veins. 'Come together state of the art. We'll never surrender. "

                                                                                                                                                   ~ All Time Low

~ Tomorrow Gets Me Through the Past ~

Tomorrow equals new experiences.

Tomorrow    IS the narrow versus the Broad.

Tomorrow   IS a choice That reinvents Itself as the events Get Closer.

Tomorrow   IS Always in the Now, so Get up and Dance.

A smile filling my eyes as I learn to discover rather than cower.

A moment of jubilee when I find out that change is not as bad as it seems.

More of this and that.

And less of that and this.

For tomorrow  IS the Day That starts yesterday.  

Finding out that fear is no longer part of my arsenal.
That time when it is okay to wander and not find anything at all.

Tomorrow   IS Never Alone and today IS filled with Sparks.

A smile filling my face as I learn to drive and not let go.

A smile that tells me that running away is not the answer.

A moment of jubilee when I realize that letting go is just another part of the day.

For letting go is a double edged sword used for the good and for the tarnished.

Tomorrow   Divides into three.

The past, present, and the future.

All rolled into one caring moment where the choice is made.

As I run and not let myself equal the impossible.

Even though I miss and I mourn.

Even as I am filled with sadness that I will not get to see them.

I know they are safe.

I know that life takes a strange path to find an answer that was always there.

Here I go weeping for joy.

Here I go dancing this day into the next.

Here I go taking in feeling and using it for good.

Here I Go looking for tomorrow  Which IS just like looking for today.  

Tomorrow  equals new experiences.

Tomorrow   IS the path less Traveled and more Traveled by others.

Tomorrow   IS missing the ones I hold Dearest.

But for now I tell you I love you.

I love you more than you know.

But we know, that we are never not together.

Because tomorrow  IS where the memories and the Present collide to form the new and exciting.  

Tomorrow  IS a lways in the Past and the Now.

So get up and dance to the new.

Dance to the present, and the past.

So get up and dance to the undecided.

Because we all know that the meaning will be with us and reveal itself when our eyes stop looking.  

But please do not stop looking at the same stars.
Or even the same sun and moon.
For even if the sun is a star.
It is the one that will truly guide me home. 

What We Lost(What Was There)

"I need you. Like the dragonfly's wings need the wind. Like the orphan needs home once again. Like Heaven needs more to come in." ~Copeland

~What We Lost (What Was There)~

Let us remember those we have lost.

Bow our heads and meditate on what is gone.

We listened and learned a lesson.

We then forgot and moved on from what we found was true.

We now build these walls that tower above the sky.

We hide inside trying to forget what has dissipated.

Weeping next to nothing because we are too scared to try.

We weep to forget that once we had faith.

So what else is lost?

Hope, love, and purpose.

We lost it all because we took it for granted.

We did this instead of remembering and using what we once knew to be true.

Do not let yourself die, when life is just on the next hill over.

These walls can be torn down.

When you look there could be writing on the wall.

But what will it say?

History repeats itself.

Which one will repeat for us?

Will you learn to tear down the prison you have built?

Or will the writing spell out your demise?

Where does your trust lie?

I choose mercy, and I choose to reclaim what I lost.

For when I do this I have someone to rely on.

For when I do this I am not alone.