When We Grow, it Happens Fast and Slow

"If we only got one try, if we we've only got one life, if time was never on our side, well before I die I wanna burn out bright."           ~Switchfoot

~ When we Grow, it Happens Fast and Slow ~

Winter has ended and spring has arrived.

The ice in our hearts is melting away.

The storms of life are turning from snow to rain.

And our spirit is in its prime to grow. 

Actions define who we are.

Bitter, joyful, angry, humble.

How we react to situations shows others who we are.

And who are you, and who am I?

In thee seasons we are growing.

If God is in our lives, we will have to grow.

Sometimes it is fast.

Other times it is slow.

Are we becoming what we are meant to be?

Will we bless people who come our way?

Or do they shy away from what we have to say?

Are our branches inviting in those who wish to believe?

When we come into contact with others,

When we are by ourselves,

We have the opportunity to get closer to God.

To grow and get stronger in Love.

Today is today.

Tomorrow is too late.

Action takes the now.

And tomorrow won't be fast enough.

God save me from myself.

Save me from my disbelief.

Help me to begin today.

God save me from me.

Time will not be on your side.

Time always moves forward.

To trust in Love in the now.

To be what you were meant to be.

God I pray, take all my errors.

God I pray, do a work in me.

Love I pray, engulf me in your life giving light.

To grow in the season you have set before me.

And when the inevitable winter comes.

Help me through those days as well.

To continue to trust in you.

As I wait, learn, and pray for spring to come back my way. 

It is Going to Be Okay

"The Devil will proudly pay your way to Hell."

                                       ~Pastor Kenneth Martin

It is Going to Be Okay

The world is alone.

It is alone in the dark.

Discovered and created in light.

But now tarnished and washed over by onyx and shadows.

The powers that be, and the governments are bathed in dark.

People revel in the black and their hope is in themselves.

They do not see the small light in the distance.

The one that will become brighter the more you pray and believe.

History is being manipulated.

Prayer is being forced out.

Prayer comes back during a crisis, but dies with the passing of time.

History is what the media makes it, not what has happened.

Do not be deceived.

That light can still be obtained.

Even when you have been taken away.

Even when the society makes this soil look better than the Lords.

Faith is not always convenient.

Faith will put you at odds with this soil.

We do not belong on this land.,

We are living as immigrants tilling this land until we are brought home.

Absolutes are poison to the ears of this world.

God is not relative, He is absolute.

Commandments are meant to be followed.

Commandments are meant to be obeyed and not taken as a suggestion.

One step closer to the end.

Once step closer to understanding why we hope in spite of the pain.

One step closer to finding out why we pray.

One step closer to the healing call.

This world is alone.

It is bleak in its pleasures.

Do not be deceived by what they say you need.

This world is lonely.

And it is okay when you understand your family is in the Lord.

And it is in others who love Him . . . like me. 

What is Christmas?

I Celebrate the Day ~Relient K

~What is Christmas?~

The Word that comes down to penetrate hearts. 

The Word that became flesh for you and for me. 

To be more than a man.  

To be more than God.

The creator that became both. 

For you. 

For us. 

The creator, the word, our Savior, the child born. 

Why would someone be born to die? 

Is it not because they love us? 

Why would the creator become fully man? 

Is it not because we are his children?

There is hope on the inside. 

There is hope when you turn your eyes to the true outside. 

The heavenly hosts celebrate when we believe. 

When hope is strong and the fear of God purifies all of you and me. 

Sanctified and filled. 

Sanctified and set apart. 

Sanctified to be closer to the fear of our Savior. 

Sanctification as a gift to save us from our sins. 

We do this in preparation for the day when death is washed away. 

When every tear is dried up. 

When pain is taken away. 

We do this for the Alpha and the Omega.  

For His true water that always quenches thirst.

For Christmas is more than the presents. 

It is more than the tree. 

Christmas is a promise from God. 

It is a time to celebrate the true gift that He gave us, when He was born to die for you and for me.

When He was born to bring life to those who were wishing to flee.  

Lifting Spirit (Poem From High School)

Lifting Spirit

Let’s look past our differences on the gates of imperfection. 

Let’s hold hands to face what may come next. 

Forever light will shine, a glimmer and a shine through strong eyes. 

Seeing is not believing, but faith will bring us through.

Into hard times, 

And into good we all face. 

With my love failing sometimes. 

But I’ll be crawling back in due time.

Sometimes I’m looking for a back door to escape the pressures of this world. 

I should know by now that your unfailing love will see me through. 

Open mouth but no sound is coming. 

Show me your power and authority.

No time can tell the coming of our Lord. 

So I’ll wait.

You’re looking down on me seeing me make my mistakes. 

You’re looking down on me seeing me do your will. 

I’m standing then falling to my knees as I cry out and say I love 

As I lift up my hands to worship. 

Now thanks and take, God thanks and takes me.

I love you, God I love you.

X Marks the Spot

Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. There is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of its filling a vacuum, it makes one. If it satisfies one want, it doubles and trebles that want another way. That was a true proverb of the wise man, rely upon it; "Better is little with the fear of the Lord, than great treasure, and trouble therewith."

                                                                                                                      ~Benjamin Franklin

~X Marks the Spot~

Buried treasure. 

Buried hopes and dreams. 

To uncover the truths.  

To be humble when we find the loot. 

A child's wonder.  

A child searching with a father. 

Running through the woods. 

But being put on the path by the guiding dad. 

Humility before my Savior. 

Like a child depending on their parent.  

Humility like this child. 

As we seek for treasure placed in our lives by God. 

The map I have before me has one X. 

I travel by light towards this goal. 

But to the left something shiny takes me off.  

Towards a goal with no X, to a path that was not put there for good.

When the path is muddled and you stray too far. 

God is there with you urging you back. 

When the brambles catch your clothes

We have a God who can patch your wounds.

The problem is we are not humble. 

We don't have a child's faith as we get older. 

The treasures of this world seem sweeter than the X. 

The problem is we do not trust our Father anymore. 

This world can harden us.  

It can shape us to be cold towards empathy. 

The goal is to be like Christ. 

And believe like a child once again. 

We pray and we follow the hard path. 

This path that can hurt. 

But we have the Maker helping us through. 

As long as we trust and make our lives brand new.

What is great about all of these things? 

What is great about trial? 

It makes a man a better man if we do it with God's help. 

It makes a man truly understand what Humility is.

Our faith is not hopeless. 

It is not a crutch. 

Faith is the acknowledgement of our limitations.

So we can call upon God to help us when we fall. 

Selfishness can kill a man. 

It bleeds out to jealousy.  

Selfishness can kill faith. 

It creates pride, sorrow, and death.

Selfishness does not seek humility.
Being humble does not mean being walked over.
We take hold of each other and pray for a better day.
When we are humble we do not walk these paths alone.

Buried treasure. 

Buried hopes and dreams. 

To uncover the truths.  

To be humble when we find the loot. 

Our X does not need to be lonely. 

The journey does not need to be alone. 

With God by our side and friends put in place.

We go side by side into this world to discover what my maker created us for. 

Understanding a Foundation

"When all the love in the world is right here among us and hatred too, and so we must choose what our hands will do. Where there is pain let there be grace. Where there is suffering bring serenity. For those afraid, help them be brave. Where there is misery bring expectancy, and surely we can change something."

                                                                              ~David Crowder

~Understanding a Foundation~

What if we gained, gripped, and grasped all this world offered us,
Would we get what we were looking for?
What if we fornicated, got drunk, and had a heck of a time,
Would we fill the hole that is inside of us?

Could I build a solid foundation on a rock?
What if I did then tried to continue the building by my own rules?
Would not my house still fall?
Would I not be crushed under the storm?

There are cracks in my foundation.
I am a messed up individual.
I am scared to pray when I wish to hide from answers.
Yet I still believe in Love. 

But belief is only one step.
What about the relationship?
What does Love ask us to do?
What is the next step in the plans laid out before the back of my head?

A small voice can speak a mountain.
A small voice can repair a broken home.
A small voice can sound loud.
In the nothing, something can shine through.

What is it in your life that is driving you away from truth?
Is it a sin you are too ashamed to bring to the forefront?
That sin can be washed into the ocean.
It can be judged and forgiven.

Love is beyond our understanding.
It is unfathomable.
Yet, He is more personable than a mother with her newborn child. 
He is more than enough for the sinner, the liar, the downtrodden, and the lost.

If I gained this world I would be let down.
I can not do this on my own.
What choice will you choose?
Love or Death?

I choose the joy I experience from God.
I choose the hardships of living in a fallen world.
I choose the eternal.
I choose the muck and the mud I must wade to get there. 

This is not about me.
It is not about my own insecurities.
It is about Love.
It is about what He did to deliver you and me.

We should have bled.
We should have died.
The cross should of bared us.
But I have a God who took it all for me to be free. 

Stop Playing the Game

"Your eyes are closed when you're prayin.' You sing out aloud with the band. You shine up your shoes for services. There's blood on your hands. You turned your back on the homeless, and the ones that don't fit in your plan. Quit playin' religion games there's blood on your hands." 

                                                ~Jon Foreman

Blood has been shed.

It has been shed for you and for me.  

A real sacrifice for the real lost. 

A real death for real love.

And what am I doing about it?  

Am I condemning those that need help?

Do I grasp onto religion and ignore the poor? 

These games we play destroy the love we need to show to all. 

On the side of the road there is a man who longs for freedom. 

In the parking lot people gather to just feel something.  

The hotel is full of beings trying to fill a whole that was never there. 

And in the office there is a man who lost it all and when he hits the floor it is done. 

And there you are sitting in a pew watching it go down.

You are saying,  "Look at me,  I am good.  I am doing my religious duty." 

And there you are hearing the pleas. 

As you drive by to go gorge yourself on food and drink. 

You are perfect in every way.

You go to church and claim to pray. 

You lift your hands and surrender to yourself. 

But those around see it as a man surrendering to God.

You sit down after the song and listen like a good boy.  

You hear the words and then go about your day. 

When someone asks what you believe you think and say, "I believe in Love." 

But you do not think about God until you break the plane of that Church again on Sunday.

You are the perfect Christian in the eyes of you. 

You help the church by complaining about the lights being too bright.

You help by saying the music is not self fulfilling enough. 

You help be walking in the door.

Me, me, me, you sing, as you sing, as you sing.

I wish, I wish, I wish,  they sing, as they sing, as they sing. 

Food, shelter, clothes, I wish, I wish, I wish. 

As they sing,  outside your neighborhood watching you be perfect day in and day out.

Blood has been shed. 

By my savior and in the church. 

His blood does good yours is full of venom. 

Blood has been shed.

What are we doing for the one who died? 

Are we playing a game? 

Or are we practicing what we are praying? 

What are we doing for the one we claim to love.

If we love him we should be like him. 

If we love him pray and actually pray. 

Sing and actually sing. 

Leave church and practice what you have heard. 

You will go against the grain of this world. 

You will be mocked and hurt. 

You will swim up a stream. 

Who cares, love anyway and and never cease to do and pray. 

Where do You Suffer?

"You're my harbor in this lonely storm."
                                             ~Jon Foreman

Where do You Suffer?

Rejoice in the suffering brought to you by those who do not understand.

Suffer and become strong.

But do not suffer by doing wrong,

Suffer in the pain of Christ.

What am I doing when I see those who are dying?

What am I doing when they are in danger?

Do I shut up in my home and never leave?

Or do I go out to where they are and show them love?

I am stubborn I am a faker.

I long for a home that I cannot see.

I am boat lost at sea.

And everyday you see right through me.

I refuse blessings when He lays them right in front of my eyes.

I end up suffering not by Him, but because of me.

The hurt builds up like a chemical reaction in a bottle.

Until it explodes and my heart is on the floor.

The time will come when this world will be reborn.

My maker will come down and all will see the truth.

Until that day I will be all I can for Him.

I will be all I can to show the world His love.

For true love can only come through God.

True love can only be embraced by understanding His suffering.

Even when I doubt, He does not abandon.

Even when I suffer by my own accord He brings me back.

When darkness is over your eyes,

And the stabs of this world pierce your skin.

When the eyes look and linger just a little too much,

And then your world falls apart.

Remember there is a hope if you just turn to the Maker of all things.

Thank God for Another Day

"I'm a goner, somebody catch my breath. I wanna be known by you."
                                                                          ~Twenty One Pilots

~Thank God for Another Day~

Who am I looking for in the bramble and weeds?

What motivation am I using to get through the woods?

Who is on the other side of this long walk?

What do I seek, in the dark, in the dank air of the desecrated sanctuary?

Twisting, crooked vines,

Snatching my arms and legs.

Scraping my skin as I struggle to get out.

Being pulled to the ground trying to find my way.

My failings make me who I am.

But I need to be thankful even when I am lost.

It is hard to see where I am.

But I still need to thank God for another day.

Breaking free but not by me.

Continuing my journey to the sea.

I am glad I did not flee.

And I thank God for taking me in my need. 

Learning how to fall.

Learning how to die.

Learning how to repent. 

Learning how to live in this prison of mine.

Knocked down on the floor and loving it

Beaten but not taken out. 

Hurt by men who see what I have. 

As I hold my head up high and see the woods before my feet. 

On the other side is the salt and water.

On the other side is soil to plant new seeds.

On the other side are chains being broken.

But for now I am thanking God for another day.

Grieving for those that do not understand.

Praying for those that do not look or see.

Walking in this thorn filled woods.

Hoping to grab more to walk and ride with me.

Take heart and use your guilt to repent. 

Denying the pleasures of the world's grief.

Seek the path through the woods.

And then look up take heart and thank God for another day. 

Live For More

"So I set off running
To reach the other side
To find a place to call my own
There in the distance the rivers open wide
And I was lost but not alone"
                              ~Switchfoot

~Live for More~

Trust and let live your life into the unknown that is worth letting go for.

Give up control to the one who gave it all.

I want to live my life to upset the status quo.

To hurt the one who wishes to take it away from me.

I long for the other side.

My hopes hope relies on the sea

It sails me to a place where I am happy.

To a place where you will meet me where I am.

The plan was said, 

And the plan took place.

Fulfill my soul and break my heart.

Please make me hurt and long for the end of days.

In the meantime I wish to live and breathe free.

I wish to bring those whom I talk to with me.

In the meantime I wish to drink and see,

All the glory of the world around me.

I plan to take full advantage of the words placed before me.

I plan to learn more than philosophy and greed.

I plan to pray in the day even when I should sway.

I plan to teach myself and others the hope created by death.

Our information stretches far.

It instantly travels faster than a man tapping his finger.

We live in a world that is so connected.

Yet we are more alone than ever.

Death will come and information shall be sent.

The digital nation making a person infamous.

The answer to the truth is just a click today.

The answer to what comes next is a prayer and eye shut away.

What is this fear that we have when it comes to dying?

We need to live in the moment and for our end in the same breath.

We need to hear our personal prophecy fulfilled.

Our self contained moments restored to a group of those who truly love.

Are you ready?

Is your life awakened and closed?

Is your heart running and standing still?

Is your soul pointed north longing to be home?

Trust, live, hope and dream.

Create and be created for purpose and the sea.

Set sail and know where your destination lies.

Love the loveless and give hope to those who have no hope at all.

My end is a home in a place where I finally know I belong. 

If I die, or if I ascend I will never stop praying and loving all that loves back.

If I die, or ascend I will do my best to doubt my doubts and live your dreams.

If I die, or ascend I will continue to be on fire and burn for love.

I will burn and be on fire for a nation of sinners.

I will be a saint that is worth the title given to me.

I will burn down this town for a hope beyond my being.

I will burn and live for God, and then die or ascend into a home. 

A home where I will sing the truth and harmonize.

 With the saints that set sail before, during, and after me. 

This Fire Likes to be Water

That's a love that, cant be broken,
That's the sting of a, heart cut open,
That's the thing about, blind devotion,
That's a love that, can't be broken
                                           ~Twin Forks 

                                              This Fire Likes to be Water

Baptize me with fire and water.
Wash me clean and burn me free.
Let the water wash over my soul.
Cover my sins with fire and bring me to a place where my obedience longs for only you.

Is it strange that I believe while I doubt?
Is it strange that I want both fire and water?
Is my strength determined by my own understanding?
Is my strength anchored by your Holy name? 

I have water in my blood and fire in my soul.
I have flesh that covers my spirit and I long for the other side.
I have sins that seem divine, and sins that put me in the ground.
I have an underlying agenda to be a better man than the man I have been before. 

I want to crucify myself and bleed until I am dry.
I want to be nailed to a cross and cry out to God.
My God,  oh my God,  why did you forsake me.
My God,  oh my God baptize my blood.

Set me on fire my Lord and make me be a light that burns for the sea.
Baptize me and you will hear a man that runs to see.
More and more the ice becomes water.
By using the fire to melt the cold to cleanse the soul by water and flame. 

Baptize me with water and fire.
Wash me clean and burn me free.
I stand by the ocean and I breathe in the life.
Salt in the wound that cleanses me.

I stand at the edge.
I stand in the tide.
I want to feel the waves washing over the pain.
I drown in the water to baptize my blood.

Life doesn't take a backseat to belief.

And my life doesn't destroy my love because I am obedient to a King.

My obedience makes me strong.

It energized my mind to jump start the love that is in my heart. 

Crucify me and let me feel longing.

Make my mind, body, and soul a sacrifice to love.

Use this baptism to make me realize all I need is you.

Please Lord, guide my eyes into the sea.

Set flames to the ocean so that I may be cleansed by both fire and water.

Set the world on fire with obedience unlike any other.

May my world be the beacon that guides ships through the sea.

May my world be a living baptism for the one who gave it all for me. 

Baptize me with fire and water.
Wash me clean and burn me free. 

Let the water wash over my soul.
Cover my sins with fire and bring me to a place where my obedience longs for only you.

Hypocrites and Pharisees

"This paper posed as photographs. This promise snapped with time elapsed. You think you do, but you don't know me at all. Last chance to find what we believe. I hope you save those you've deceived. You think you do, but you don't know me at all"                                                                         ~Sullivan

~Hypocrites and Pharisees~ 

Why do we pray to gain favor from others?

Why do we think our prayers are higher than our brothers?

Hypocrites and Pharisees are to shallow to know. 

Hypocrites and Pharisees are to knowledgeable to truly understand.

How are we praying? 

How are we going about talking to the ruler of this world and the next? 

He knows the heart of his people.

He knows the mind of the individual.

Why do we only pray when it is convenient?

Why do we pray when we are trying to get prideful gain?

Hypocrites and Pharisees are blind to the simple and true.

Hypocrites and Pharisees pray just to hear their own words.

Take this heart and let it be an offering up to thee. 

Take this mind and wash it clean, so I may pray with meaning and with glee. 

I fall short so let it be an offering up to thee.

I fall short so let it be a way to repentance and glee.

All of my words stand before me.

As I pray and ask for Him to take away the pain.

My voice cries out to my maker.

As my eyes become wet and bloods flows through my veins.

I have flesh that follows up on my faults. 

It prevents me from the perfection I wish to achieve.

One day I will be ushered, into eternity.

One day I will be with my King.

But for now here I am on this Earth.

Humbling myself before the throne. 

I do not want to be like the hypocrites and Pharisees.

I do not wish to die with only riches that make me feel alone.

Why do we pray to gain favor from others?

What is the point of shooting our God?

Why do we pray to light fires and burn the ones we love?

What is the point of killing them when they deserve to be saved?

Hypocrites and Pharisees try to save themselves through Religion and spirituality.

They gloat and show how perfect they can be.

They sign their letters they send to men, God.

And  at the bottom the P.S. reads, "Let me take your sins away."

No man can take away sin.

No man can be spiritual enough in this day.

Religion does not have the answer.

Religion is the crutch that people use when they do not know how to pray.

I choose to depend on my maker.

I choose to pray with an attitude that humbles me to Love. 

I choose to live and grow based on the words of God.

I choose to be a real individual and pray, not to impress those around me.

But to pray my sins and doubts away.

My Personal Psalm

“Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is,“My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”

                                                                     ~Matthew 26:46b 

~My Personal Psalm~

What does it look like when you love and the world hates?

What does it look like when the change is a change for the suffering?

The world tears down the loving because it hates the one who shows true love.

This world is not my own.

This world is only temporary.

This world will hurt you just because we know the truth.

Not everyone will like you.

Not everyone will want to know you.

But stay strong, walk the path and love.

Those around want to avoid the truth. 

They want the easy and the fast.

They want the quick fix for this world and this world alone.

This world is not my home, my home begins when I die.  

My treasure is on the other side.

My treasure begins on the rocky and narrow.

I do not want a cookie cutter life.

I do not want the easy way out.

I want the love of a Savior even when I think He is gone.

God I cry out to you.

Give me life in this world where I live.

God I cry out to you.

My knees are on the ground.

My eyes are to the sky.

But my heart is cold.

God I cry out to you.

I wish I knew more.

God I cry out to you.

My head tells me you forsake me.

My ears do not hear.

God why do I feel nothing all the time?

I weep as I sit alone.

I weep as I try to serve.

I am wounded because I do not feel you.

This war is made up of many battles.

This war, thank God, is already won.

But this war takes a toll on my soul.

This world does not belong to me.

I am just living in it with others. 

We do not belong here.

Break me and let me know you.

Hurt me so I understand compassion.

God please let me see you again.

This world is built on vanity.

It is built on meaningless pleasure.

This world is what my sin wants.

I give in to many times.

I give in when I know it is wrong.

I give in, God help me fix my eyes on you.

What does it look like to love what the world hates? 

It hurts,

It stings,

It destroys my understandings.

What does it look like to love what the world hates?

It brings hope it.

It brings love.

It brings understanding.

What does it look like to love God?

It looks like the end of an age.

An end of humanity.

A beginning that will last forever.

An end to this world and a focus on what is to come.

This world is not my own

Even when I feel alone.

God I weep,

God I try,

God take me, let me know you are here.

This world is not my home

This world is broken.

I am broken.

I am a faith based lover

Known to my soul as a believer in more than myself.

Not everyone will like you.

Not everyone will like me.

But I will love them not matter the circumstances.

Even when my world has fallen apart.

Serve

What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? Matthew 16:26

~Serve~

Pride will kill us all.

It can consume and twist until you are unrecognizable. 

Pride will kill us all.

It can take us, bind us, and turn you away from what you believe in.

We grasp onto our failures and let them define who we are.

We take hold to our success and we let it define who we are.

But who are we really?

What is the big thing that drives us to be who we are?

What do you believe in?

What makes you tick?

What causes you to wake up in the morning?

What defines you?

Sex will not fulfill your soul.

Drugs will not poison enough to make you feel whole. 

Money will not make you charitable.

And a lover will only show you so much true love.

There is a book that holds my sins.

There is a book that shows my good deeds.

One of these books is bigger than the other.

But there is another book with another story that saves my soul and makes one of the books disappear.

There is a life that I must use to define me.

There is a man who died but did not leave.

There is a place that I strive to enter.

There is a book that prepares me for battle against the idols in my life.

Why would we follow anyone else?

Who else takes away the shackles and the chains?

Why would you go for pride over the maker?

When the maker is the one who saves.

What can I do for my creator?

What can I give to show him my love?

Truthfully not much.

But I do anyways because I want to be more like him.

Do not grasp onto what others have.

For those things will not let you inherit the kingdom. 

Do not use our maker as a crutch. 

For he is the one that needs to be served when the sun is up and when the sun sets.

Serve and let the good news be north on your radar.

Serve and want to.

Serve and fight for your brothers soul.

Serve and love others.

For God does not fail, even when we do.