Right in Front of Me

~Right in Front of Me~

If I was a man, would I be rich? 

If I was a man, would I be poor? 

If I had a place to be after this world where would I be? 

Heaven or Hell?

I see scars on wrists. 

I see holes in feet. 

I feel more than blood running down my arm. 

I feel more than sweat beeding on my neck.

Can I have a drop of water? 

Can I latch onto my wife and go to the gates? 

Can I use her as a surrogate to enter the Kingdom?

I thought I was good, I thought that was enough.

That man over there he was a murderer, I understand him. 

That lady on my right raped a boy I understand that. 

That one to my left stole cheated lied and died. 

I understand that.

Please, let me in. 

I worked towards a goal. 

I treated them with respect. 

Yet, here I am burning, dying and not dying.

In denial and loving it does not receive.  

When the truth is right in front of you and you deny. 

Attempting to justify sin by calling it shaming. 

Attempting to justify sin by saying that it is the social norm.

It is easy to be good and then die in sin. 

It is easy to run to people's beds and end up not understanding what went wrong. 

Not one of us is worthy. 

But those that accept the ancient teaching understand more.

If I was a man, would it be okay to rape and murder? 

If I was a man,  would it be okay to see if I have blood in my wrists? 

If I was a man,  would it be okay if I lived to be good and to always get my way? 

If I was a man, couldn't I listen and receive that truth that was always right in front of me?

Where do You Suffer?

"You're my harbor in this lonely storm."
                                             ~Jon Foreman

Where do You Suffer?

Rejoice in the suffering brought to you by those who do not understand.

Suffer and become strong.

But do not suffer by doing wrong,

Suffer in the pain of Christ.

What am I doing when I see those who are dying?

What am I doing when they are in danger?

Do I shut up in my home and never leave?

Or do I go out to where they are and show them love?

I am stubborn I am a faker.

I long for a home that I cannot see.

I am boat lost at sea.

And everyday you see right through me.

I refuse blessings when He lays them right in front of my eyes.

I end up suffering not by Him, but because of me.

The hurt builds up like a chemical reaction in a bottle.

Until it explodes and my heart is on the floor.

The time will come when this world will be reborn.

My maker will come down and all will see the truth.

Until that day I will be all I can for Him.

I will be all I can to show the world His love.

For true love can only come through God.

True love can only be embraced by understanding His suffering.

Even when I doubt, He does not abandon.

Even when I suffer by my own accord He brings me back.

When darkness is over your eyes,

And the stabs of this world pierce your skin.

When the eyes look and linger just a little too much,

And then your world falls apart.

Remember there is a hope if you just turn to the Maker of all things.