X Marks the Spot

Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. There is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of its filling a vacuum, it makes one. If it satisfies one want, it doubles and trebles that want another way. That was a true proverb of the wise man, rely upon it; "Better is little with the fear of the Lord, than great treasure, and trouble therewith."

                                                                                                                      ~Benjamin Franklin

~X Marks the Spot~

Buried treasure. 

Buried hopes and dreams. 

To uncover the truths.  

To be humble when we find the loot. 

A child's wonder.  

A child searching with a father. 

Running through the woods. 

But being put on the path by the guiding dad. 

Humility before my Savior. 

Like a child depending on their parent.  

Humility like this child. 

As we seek for treasure placed in our lives by God. 

The map I have before me has one X. 

I travel by light towards this goal. 

But to the left something shiny takes me off.  

Towards a goal with no X, to a path that was not put there for good.

When the path is muddled and you stray too far. 

God is there with you urging you back. 

When the brambles catch your clothes

We have a God who can patch your wounds.

The problem is we are not humble. 

We don't have a child's faith as we get older. 

The treasures of this world seem sweeter than the X. 

The problem is we do not trust our Father anymore. 

This world can harden us.  

It can shape us to be cold towards empathy. 

The goal is to be like Christ. 

And believe like a child once again. 

We pray and we follow the hard path. 

This path that can hurt. 

But we have the Maker helping us through. 

As long as we trust and make our lives brand new.

What is great about all of these things? 

What is great about trial? 

It makes a man a better man if we do it with God's help. 

It makes a man truly understand what Humility is.

Our faith is not hopeless. 

It is not a crutch. 

Faith is the acknowledgement of our limitations.

So we can call upon God to help us when we fall. 

Selfishness can kill a man. 

It bleeds out to jealousy.  

Selfishness can kill faith. 

It creates pride, sorrow, and death.

Selfishness does not seek humility.
Being humble does not mean being walked over.
We take hold of each other and pray for a better day.
When we are humble we do not walk these paths alone.

Buried treasure. 

Buried hopes and dreams. 

To uncover the truths.  

To be humble when we find the loot. 

Our X does not need to be lonely. 

The journey does not need to be alone. 

With God by our side and friends put in place.

We go side by side into this world to discover what my maker created us for. 

Understanding a Foundation

"When all the love in the world is right here among us and hatred too, and so we must choose what our hands will do. Where there is pain let there be grace. Where there is suffering bring serenity. For those afraid, help them be brave. Where there is misery bring expectancy, and surely we can change something."

                                                                              ~David Crowder

~Understanding a Foundation~

What if we gained, gripped, and grasped all this world offered us,
Would we get what we were looking for?
What if we fornicated, got drunk, and had a heck of a time,
Would we fill the hole that is inside of us?

Could I build a solid foundation on a rock?
What if I did then tried to continue the building by my own rules?
Would not my house still fall?
Would I not be crushed under the storm?

There are cracks in my foundation.
I am a messed up individual.
I am scared to pray when I wish to hide from answers.
Yet I still believe in Love. 

But belief is only one step.
What about the relationship?
What does Love ask us to do?
What is the next step in the plans laid out before the back of my head?

A small voice can speak a mountain.
A small voice can repair a broken home.
A small voice can sound loud.
In the nothing, something can shine through.

What is it in your life that is driving you away from truth?
Is it a sin you are too ashamed to bring to the forefront?
That sin can be washed into the ocean.
It can be judged and forgiven.

Love is beyond our understanding.
It is unfathomable.
Yet, He is more personable than a mother with her newborn child. 
He is more than enough for the sinner, the liar, the downtrodden, and the lost.

If I gained this world I would be let down.
I can not do this on my own.
What choice will you choose?
Love or Death?

I choose the joy I experience from God.
I choose the hardships of living in a fallen world.
I choose the eternal.
I choose the muck and the mud I must wade to get there. 

This is not about me.
It is not about my own insecurities.
It is about Love.
It is about what He did to deliver you and me.

We should have bled.
We should have died.
The cross should of bared us.
But I have a God who took it all for me to be free. 

What is In-Between?

"I am the war inside,. I am the battle line. I am the rising tide. I am the more I fight, eyes open, open wide. I can feel like I'm the crack in my spine. I can feel like the back of my mind. I am the war inside."

                                                                     Switchfoot

~What is In-Between?~

Down on my knees I pray.

Forward thinking in recovery kneeling.

A brightness in a black room I was thinking.

On my knees I decide to pray.

Will I continue until the end beginning?

Will I pray and feel grace and mercy,

On a day of hurt,

On a day of pain?

In these days when anxiousness takes over the mind.

When my worry blocks out my words.

While I am trying to be what I need to be.

When I am trying to live life and pray.

I am a flawed masterpiece.

I am a man who finds comfort in the rain.

Looking forward to the day I no longer fear to pray.

Looking for peace in a mind that sees magic as faith.

I want to be able to close my eyes and pray for more than just me.

To see the needs around.

To go forward in love in a world far from me,

To pray not as a checklist, but a relationship that feeds.

Can we hold onto the vines that come down from glory?

Can we depend on Love instead of ourselves?

Can we climb up high and experience a fall,

So that we can seek and climb once more?

Hope for more than your own desires.

Pray and believe that Love is listening. 

For Love answers in one way or another. 

And the answers will make us stronger.

Faith is above and below.

It is the sky and the dirt.

Fear does not belong in the in-between.

When I look up and see the glory, the in-between falls down.

And I do as well, to my knees and then I begin to pray. 

Time to Look Up

~Time to Look Up~

A Kingdom has and will come down.
White and dipped in blood it will come.
Healing that goes deeper than whatever came before.
With music that calls the dead and awakens them through the mouth of a King.

For the invisible Kingdom is here with us now.
But there is another on its way.
A physical one for all to see.
What do we do while we wait?

We wait and use the sky to see the Lord.
We wait and Love all who wander on our paths.
We wait and Love those who do not wander in our way.
We wait and live lives on purpose, in urgency, for love, as we pray.

Fear is not from Love.
So cast is aside and look into the sky.
We will know when it happens.
We will know the glory of the stars.

The world must die before it can be saved.
My life died before I lived.
I live for an end, not the beginning of me.
For the end is the new beginning for those who believe.

Because of this we need urgency.
We need to show Love.
We need Grace and Mercy.
The King of the stars died, so I could die and break clean.

Something is not right here.
Something is not adding up.
The place where we live has something missing.
The place where we live thinks forward thinking is equality.

They would rather have pleasure than hear the Word of the Stars.
They would rather feel good than feel what real love is.
They would rather live in false hope than have a rock under their feet.
I would rather have euphoria with my King.

Did you see it?
Did you see the love?
Did you see the blood poured out?
Did you see the eminence of a world where we belong?

Was your eyes open,
Or did you close them because you would rather love flesh than eternity?
Was your eyes open,
Or did you not look up and see the wonder of signs sent into our sea?

People look up and ignore it.
People look down and plant seeds in the weeds.
People hear a warning and look the other way.
Only to believe when they see the rain and run to an Ark when it it too late.

Do not worry about your things.
Do not look back and become nothing.
For your fleshly goods will pass away.
But your soul will live on in one place or another.

If you have everything this world has to offer and do not have a soul,then your life is nothing.
I would rather love and know the Maker then get off with endless women, men and money.
For when the physical Kingdom comes,
I won't be dashed away.

Unashamed Faith and a Fall

"Maybe my faith is found inside a seed. Maybe faith is found inside of me. Mostly I feel like I'm lost at sea. I believe, Lord help my unbelief. I believe you could move this mountain of mine."
                                                                                         ~Jon Foreman

~Unashamed Faith and a Fall~

There are so many rocks stacking up in front of me.

I guess I will climb.

The panic takes my breath.

And I look down to see if anyone is below who will catch me if I continue to climb. 

The struggle can be real

And the struggle can make you  better man.

I wish to be in the struggle, so that I have something to overcome.

I wish to be in the struggle, so that I can fall and climb back up again. 

I am a man who likes to fall.

For every time I fall I learn how to live.

I wish to be like a Paul, a serial killer turned gold. 

I have no desire for the easy way, but for the way where I am unashamed. 

I know a man who is better than me in every way.

He emptied a Holy body to be flesh like me.

Good news was written,

And today his death is the dynamite that can move the mountain I climb. 

I cannot save,

I cannot heal a wound that is deeper than the mind.

I can only teach and hope,

I can only be a man who will learn to pray.

Salvation is a rescue and this rescue is saving from wrath.

The wrath of true love.

A rescue from what I want in my body.

And a guide that shows me what my body really needs. 

I cannot do enough good and find Heaven.

I need a process, an action, a movement of doing, a little thing called faith.

For good works will come with faith.

And anything else is a curse.

We do not earn salvation.

It comes through faith.

Faith keeps me climbing.

And faith keeps me loving.

I seek to climb.

To know that when I fall someone is there to catch me.

I seek to see the mountain and ask it to move.

To blow up expectations and fear the truth. 

This Old Porch

"Live your life, where you've been, where you're going to. Say goodnight. Say goodnight to the life in the world we live."
                                 ~Lana Del Rey

~This Old Porch~


I sit on this old porch looking back to what I was before.
For who I am now was defined by those moments from my past. 
A melancholy existence, sprinkled with moments of sanguine. 
A cloud covered daily, broken up by streams of sunlight peeking out of the clouds. 

This old chair is getting older.
And this porch doesn't stop aging.
Even though I am young I feel the ache of age in my bones.
And on this old porch I reflect on all that has been me. 

The youth made out of glee.
Having no care in the world.
And the only care being if my school lunch was packed or bought.
The simple times when mom could comfort when you cried.

Today crying becomes a cathartic awakening for growing up.
Today crying is frowned upon by those that claim to be too masculine for such childish things.
Today crying is a symptom of being insecure.
For "real' men do not cry.

Growing up and finding God then losing Him and then running back again.
Making mistakes and taking names.
Learning how to be a good ole boy.
A walk in the park that ultimately leads to this porch.

I think it is easier to reflect than move forward.
I think that our time could be better spent than reminiscing on things I cannot change.
I think life is worth more than this porch.
I think a little reflection didn't kill anyone.

For the past is what made me.
And I am finding that a little bit of closure is needed to move along.
I am finding my mind can cause me to walk while looking back.
And the pain of yesteryear can be used to fuel the being I was made to be. 

I sit on this old porch looking back to what I was before.
For I am defined by what I did last year.
A melancholy existence, dancing with intent.
A cloud covered daily, that one day will be put back together to what it once was. 

Maybe one day someone will be next to me.
On this old porch.
On the bench and not the chair.
For the porch can be used to look forward too. 

A Sense of Urgency

"Saved people this side of Heaven owe the gospel to lost people this side of Hell."

                                                                             ~David Platt

~A Sense of Urgency~

What is inside of our souls?
The eyes of the world are opened or closed to the souls populating the streets.
The kingdom is inside for those that trust in the One.
And it will remain inside until the return of the Son.

We as a kingdom stand so still.
We have the glory yet we do not tell.
We have no sense of urgency,
When forever is beginning now.

Conviction is in us all.
The kingdom rings inside of souls.
Conviction is love.
And we must delve closer to the truth.

Home is the place that we must strive for.
A home of a kingdom coming down.
This world that is in me needs to be projected inside to the outside.
And not kept as a secret for none to find out.

I have ran for many years just to find,
That what I was looking for was inside.
The power of a savior that can make a mountain bow.
The power of His Love to help go out and tell.

I strive for peace and I want that peace on Earth.
It will come one day if you are ready,
But not all will stay.
Many will perish and never see the light of day.

Wolves will be with lambs.
And tigers will let me near.
The threat of an effect will not come.
For peace on Earth begins when you let in the Son.

Children will play in the streets and have no fear.
Fear will be taken out of the picture.
The mystery of a man who loves so much.
Even when his people hurt him everyday. 

True love was out poured freely by a death.
The suffering that was out poured was a gift.
Our own suffering integrates gifts into actions.
And pain creates strength to go out and become what we were meant to be.

Our greatest is our greatest.
And that comes from a wooden death.
A wooden death that created our salvation.
And yet, so many of us sit and refuse to have any sense of urgency to share. 

We dance and we sing in acknowledgment.
Acknowledgement to the love, grace, and punishment laid out for us.
Laid out for us by the Creator of the world.
And that gift is what makes life worth it. 

Forever can and should start now.
My eyes should be open, even when the truth burns them.
For truth is what I have to share.
And truth should not be bottled up for the few.
It needs to be shown and told to those that do not understand what hope truly is.