My Personal Psalm

“Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is,“My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”

                                                                     ~Matthew 26:46b 

~My Personal Psalm~

What does it look like when you love and the world hates?

What does it look like when the change is a change for the suffering?

The world tears down the loving because it hates the one who shows true love.

This world is not my own.

This world is only temporary.

This world will hurt you just because we know the truth.

Not everyone will like you.

Not everyone will want to know you.

But stay strong, walk the path and love.

Those around want to avoid the truth. 

They want the easy and the fast.

They want the quick fix for this world and this world alone.

This world is not my home, my home begins when I die.  

My treasure is on the other side.

My treasure begins on the rocky and narrow.

I do not want a cookie cutter life.

I do not want the easy way out.

I want the love of a Savior even when I think He is gone.

God I cry out to you.

Give me life in this world where I live.

God I cry out to you.

My knees are on the ground.

My eyes are to the sky.

But my heart is cold.

God I cry out to you.

I wish I knew more.

God I cry out to you.

My head tells me you forsake me.

My ears do not hear.

God why do I feel nothing all the time?

I weep as I sit alone.

I weep as I try to serve.

I am wounded because I do not feel you.

This war is made up of many battles.

This war, thank God, is already won.

But this war takes a toll on my soul.

This world does not belong to me.

I am just living in it with others. 

We do not belong here.

Break me and let me know you.

Hurt me so I understand compassion.

God please let me see you again.

This world is built on vanity.

It is built on meaningless pleasure.

This world is what my sin wants.

I give in to many times.

I give in when I know it is wrong.

I give in, God help me fix my eyes on you.

What does it look like to love what the world hates? 

It hurts,

It stings,

It destroys my understandings.

What does it look like to love what the world hates?

It brings hope it.

It brings love.

It brings understanding.

What does it look like to love God?

It looks like the end of an age.

An end of humanity.

A beginning that will last forever.

An end to this world and a focus on what is to come.

This world is not my own

Even when I feel alone.

God I weep,

God I try,

God take me, let me know you are here.

This world is not my home

This world is broken.

I am broken.

I am a faith based lover

Known to my soul as a believer in more than myself.

Not everyone will like you.

Not everyone will like me.

But I will love them not matter the circumstances.

Even when my world has fallen apart.