What is This Knocking?

"We won't stand for a facade."
                               ~Say Anything

~What is This Knocking?~

My door is closed.

I have no intention to open this door.

Shut to the outsider,

Shut to the people around me.

Friends that try, fail.

Lovers who try, don't make it to the door.

I have been burned before.

I have felt the sting that comes with friendship.

Surface level friendship is not friendship at all.

The real me longing for more than a smile and a hello.

Craving love more than food.

And hoping that one day I will open the door.

What is this knocking?

Who made it this far?

It continues.

It perseveres.

My door is closed.

And I have made myself alone.

Trying to love.

Trying for more.

A shut door is not a policy that works at all.

The real me has no chance to be, if I do not say hello to love.

Craving love more than this world.

And hoping for hope to open the door.

I am alone.

I am...

Where is the I Am...?

I am retreating back.

Beyond the darkness...I am.

There it is again.

That knock.

Again...again...

Should I go...go and maybe not be alone?

For surface level friendship is not friendship at all.

A shut door is not a policy that works at all.

Craving the I Am...and knowing that the knocking is from Love.

Hand on the knob...a creak...a light...

Hello...

When We Grow, it Happens Fast and Slow

"If we only got one try, if we we've only got one life, if time was never on our side, well before I die I wanna burn out bright."           ~Switchfoot

~ When we Grow, it Happens Fast and Slow ~

Winter has ended and spring has arrived.

The ice in our hearts is melting away.

The storms of life are turning from snow to rain.

And our spirit is in its prime to grow. 

Actions define who we are.

Bitter, joyful, angry, humble.

How we react to situations shows others who we are.

And who are you, and who am I?

In thee seasons we are growing.

If God is in our lives, we will have to grow.

Sometimes it is fast.

Other times it is slow.

Are we becoming what we are meant to be?

Will we bless people who come our way?

Or do they shy away from what we have to say?

Are our branches inviting in those who wish to believe?

When we come into contact with others,

When we are by ourselves,

We have the opportunity to get closer to God.

To grow and get stronger in Love.

Today is today.

Tomorrow is too late.

Action takes the now.

And tomorrow won't be fast enough.

God save me from myself.

Save me from my disbelief.

Help me to begin today.

God save me from me.

Time will not be on your side.

Time always moves forward.

To trust in Love in the now.

To be what you were meant to be.

God I pray, take all my errors.

God I pray, do a work in me.

Love I pray, engulf me in your life giving light.

To grow in the season you have set before me.

And when the inevitable winter comes.

Help me through those days as well.

To continue to trust in you.

As I wait, learn, and pray for spring to come back my way.