What is This Knocking?

"We won't stand for a facade."
                               ~Say Anything

~What is This Knocking?~

My door is closed.

I have no intention to open this door.

Shut to the outsider,

Shut to the people around me.

Friends that try, fail.

Lovers who try, don't make it to the door.

I have been burned before.

I have felt the sting that comes with friendship.

Surface level friendship is not friendship at all.

The real me longing for more than a smile and a hello.

Craving love more than food.

And hoping that one day I will open the door.

What is this knocking?

Who made it this far?

It continues.

It perseveres.

My door is closed.

And I have made myself alone.

Trying to love.

Trying for more.

A shut door is not a policy that works at all.

The real me has no chance to be, if I do not say hello to love.

Craving love more than this world.

And hoping for hope to open the door.

I am alone.

I am...

Where is the I Am...?

I am retreating back.

Beyond the darkness...I am.

There it is again.

That knock.

Again...again...

Should I go...go and maybe not be alone?

For surface level friendship is not friendship at all.

A shut door is not a policy that works at all.

Craving the I Am...and knowing that the knocking is from Love.

Hand on the knob...a creak...a light...

Hello...

You Have Legs...Use Them

"I Will Not Pretend That We Are All Friends, When All Of Us Know That We'Re Not. And I Am Afraid Of Pulling My Name, Away From The Places I Know I'Ve Been On This Slow Down Descent."                                                                                                                                      ～ Deas Vail

~ Have Legs ... Use Them ~     

In moments like these I hope too much.

I dream up responses that let go of, instead of holding on.

The hope does not seem to be as real as it once was.

This is where my faith needs to take over and show me how to believe.

Targeting the balance of the left and the right.

Taking up arms against the heart.

And taking shots at the mind.

Duck and cover for this world is gonna blow.

It will rise up in flame.

It will enter into the line that was never supposed to be crossed.

A little further down the road.

A little to close to Hell.

In moments like these, I wish to much.

I see the stars and remember not all of them are real.

I hope, hope decides that it will manifest out of me.

Even when I need to reach deep down inside while I flee.

The shot is lined up after I moved from the right to the left.

Finger on the trigger.

The pulse is the beat.

Duck and cover for this world is gonna blow.

Enter in and enter out.

Move your butt to a better place.

Enter in enter out.

Regret does nothing but get in the way.

String along brilliant acts.

Get together and breathe in more than contrition.

Break down the fence that is holding you back.

Take the shot and bring yourself to a place of happiness.

In moments like these I am a kid that knows his place.

In moments like these this Hell transforms into something worthwhile.

While the hope secures faith.

And the faith depends on how much I wish to represent my belief.

Doubt equals a soul who chose it over believing.

Two sides of the same coin. 

Both used for target practice.

Duck and cover for this world is going to blow.

Erase it and move on.

Learn and travel further.

Hope for the faith that is inside all. 

For it is better to live than to stand still.

You have legs ... Use them. 

Understanding a Foundation

"When all the love in the world is right here among us and hatred too, and so we must choose what our hands will do. Where there is pain let there be grace. Where there is suffering bring serenity. For those afraid, help them be brave. Where there is misery bring expectancy, and surely we can change something."

                                                                              ~David Crowder

~Understanding a Foundation~

What if we gained, gripped, and grasped all this world offered us,
Would we get what we were looking for?
What if we fornicated, got drunk, and had a heck of a time,
Would we fill the hole that is inside of us?

Could I build a solid foundation on a rock?
What if I did then tried to continue the building by my own rules?
Would not my house still fall?
Would I not be crushed under the storm?

There are cracks in my foundation.
I am a messed up individual.
I am scared to pray when I wish to hide from answers.
Yet I still believe in Love. 

But belief is only one step.
What about the relationship?
What does Love ask us to do?
What is the next step in the plans laid out before the back of my head?

A small voice can speak a mountain.
A small voice can repair a broken home.
A small voice can sound loud.
In the nothing, something can shine through.

What is it in your life that is driving you away from truth?
Is it a sin you are too ashamed to bring to the forefront?
That sin can be washed into the ocean.
It can be judged and forgiven.

Love is beyond our understanding.
It is unfathomable.
Yet, He is more personable than a mother with her newborn child. 
He is more than enough for the sinner, the liar, the downtrodden, and the lost.

If I gained this world I would be let down.
I can not do this on my own.
What choice will you choose?
Love or Death?

I choose the joy I experience from God.
I choose the hardships of living in a fallen world.
I choose the eternal.
I choose the muck and the mud I must wade to get there. 

This is not about me.
It is not about my own insecurities.
It is about Love.
It is about what He did to deliver you and me.

We should have bled.
We should have died.
The cross should of bared us.
But I have a God who took it all for me to be free.